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Who killed Cock Robin United Kingdom
Contamination level: Severe illness! Forced to abandon a home.
Author: Dr. Grahme Blackwell Created: 5 Oct 2005 Updated: 5 Oct 2005 Viewed: 3493 time(s)
The tragic story of a vicim of environmental disaster
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Who Killed Cock Robin Created: 5 Oct 2005
Who Killed Cock Robin?
A Traditional English Lament
Adapted by Grahame Blackwell
(Inspired by a Recent Research Paper on the White Stork by Alfonso Balmori)

Who killed Cock Robin?

He fell out of his tree
By a phone mast you see.
Its signals were a’throbbin’,
And now we’re all a-sobbin’.
So – Who killed Cock Robin?

“ME kill Cock Robin?
Oh no, not I.”
Said the NRPB guy.
“We don’t rule, we just advise,
So we tell you it’s not wise
To sit out in the sun.
But it really isn’t done
To question the might
And the statutory right
Of the mobile companies
To irradiate who they please.
So, though my sympathies
Are with all those kiddies
Who are brought to their knees,
And their mums who beg me “Please
Stop all these atrocities!”
- I just go on and on
And on and on and on
About how we have to wait
Until we can replicate
(Though it may be far too late).
So I hope you’ll understand
That it’s quite out of our hands.
(And anyway, one robin is statistically quite insignificant,
Isn’t it?)”

“What’s this about a robin?
I’m the negotiator
For the Mobile Operator
And for your information
We’re always well inside
The official safety guide.
So – tough about the robin
But I ain’t gonna pack my job in
‘Cause we’re well inside the law
And you couldn’t ask for more.”

“My honourable friend
Asks how I can defend
My party’s policies
That knock robins out of trees.
But that’s just wild assumption.
If he’d just have the gumption
To read all those reports
Filled with quite unbiased thoughts
Of our favourite advisers
Then he would be much the wiser.
All these mavericks who claim
There are health risks – THEY’RE to blame.
All those symptoms that you hear
It’s just anxiety and fear.
Our advisers tell us so,
And they really ought to know.
I can reassure the House
It wasn’t us that killed the mouse.
(What’s that? It wasn’t a mouse, it was a robin? What robin? Where??)“

So who in the end should make redress

For poor Mrs Robin’s great distress?
Who made the decision that led to her mate
Meeting with his untimely fate?
Must be somebody,
Can’t be nobody.
So Adviser, Politician, Operator,
Please give us your answer sooner, not later
- WHO killed Cock Robin???

[Note: The thought that the final line of this lament could be a statement of fact, rather than a question, never crossed the author’s mind. The World Health Organisation (WHO) is a totally reputable body, squeaky-clean in every respect – just ask the industries that sponsor them.

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